The New Boring. Or, Rock Is Dead Pt. 411

A recent Billboard magazine has “Rock Is Dead” as it’s front cover headline. There’s a part of me – the part who saw The Clash LIVE – who agrees with this. But maybe Rock’s just changed, like everything else in our post-postmodern world. It’s rock, Jim, but not as we know it.
Some speak of The New Boring. Music sales are down and record companies don’t like risk. They want safe, reliable and, well, boring. They love Adeles and Coldplays: nice tunes for uncertain times. Coldplay apparently accounted for about 50% of EMI’s sales last year. That’s a big cash cow and EMI don’t want to frighten the horses. Mylo Xyloto: only the title was weird or different or challenging, not the content. Adele’s shifted plenty units too but, without wishing to appear rude, it’s hardly reinvented the wheel. Even oh-so-edgy Amy Winehouse didn’t exactly push the envelope
The mainstream has always been a bit boring. Englebert Humperdinck had the biggest hit of 1967, not the Beatles, Stones, Hendrix, Who etc. You know, the good stuff. The silent majority has always liked it’s fluff. Here’s the Hump…

The modern equivalent might be your average X-Factor dross. The triumph of marketing over content. The question today is the same as it’s always been then. If record companies want to play it safe then what competes with The Boring? What makes a difference and adds to the equation today? All the forms are known. The template for “classic” Rock was set over 40 years ago: bass, guitar, drum. All we’ve done over the years is add more bells and whistles. An empty box of tricks.
It’s hard to compete with a past that includes Elvis, Beatles, Rolling Stones – who weren’t destroyed in 1977 as prophecised…

Rock gets scared every now and then by a Strokes, White Stripes or Libertines. What those bands have in common is that they developed under the radar and built up a community, either by playing live or using the MySpaces of this world. This is the stuff of Rock Dreams, like a Beatles at The Cavern or Stones at the Crawdaddy Club. It’s hard to grow outside the Meejah bubble now. We’re so uber-connected, plugged-in and webbed-up that most things seem to get co-opted, chewed up and spat out, faster and faster…

Bands don’t get a chance to develop and grow. I think that’s why all those Stone Roses reunion gigs sold out in record time. They were part of a scene. A secret, special moment, when Rave culture was still underground with a new drug, look, music. That doesn’t happen anymore.

Rock, film, TV and all the other Arts are still finding their way in the Twenty First Century. Technology will lead us down more and more untrodden paths. For example, David Hockney’s new show has canvases created using the “Brush” app on his iPad. Music has an immediacy that makes it connect differently with an audience, which is why live music is still popular. And people will always want to the chase the new, to be entertained by novelty. Florence & The Machine? It’s basically Kate Bush with modern production techniques. The wish to connect is still there though. People want the communal experience.
So, who’s gonna save us from The New Boring? That’s the fun bit. Hearing a tune that makes you stop and go “Yeah!”. Or just tap your toe. Or at least raise a quizzical ear. Scanning the racks and leafing the press, here’s some that seem to be getting ver Kidz excited this year. Me? Sadly, I saw The Clash and that’s my yardstick. The bar was set high…

Name That Tune.

It’s been going on for years. Using Pop and Rock classics to sell stuff. From Nick Kamen stripping down to “Heard It Through The Grapevine” for Levi’s in the ‘80s to the Stones’ “Satisfaction” flogging Marathon, sorry, Snickers, or The Fall’s “Touch Sensitive” shifting Vauxhalls. Once upon a time these things were unthinkable but now they’re the norm.

ITV used the Stones’ “Shine A Light” for a drama promo during the summer. This tune is from their opus “Exile On Man Street” and was never one of the band’s Big Hits. The album’s recent re-release, and the live film of the same name, seem to have made it hip. The promo works, mainly because the song‘s lyric propels the story. There’s a part of me, who’s loved this album for over 3 decades, that is part-proud of my good taste for all those years, ahem, and Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells. How dare they sully a cool choon with something as crass and banal as a TV promo! ITV3 also has a cover version of Lennon’s “Imagine” in a promo. Not as effective.

Ditto the use of The Who’s “My Generation” on a new BBC promo for “The Old Guys”. OK, demographically it’s probably spot-on, but, really, is this all that Rock is now? Our personal Life Soundtrack used to flog us product? Music, that’s part of The Collective Mind and Culture, used as a short cut to our cortex? Quick! We’ve only got 30 seconds to ram our idea home!! Stun them with the warm glow of recognition, nostalgia. Short cut to their soft spot! Set Soundboard Faders on stun!

Sometimes the strategy works, if only because of the scale of the promo. The new BBC2 School’s Season promo uses Bowie’s “Space Oddity” in a concept piece with high production values, (done by an agency for big wonga which, as we all know, is cheating).

Other times it’s just annoying.  Master Card using Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out”. Stereo MCs on a Halifax advert, using oh-so-cleverly the “yeah, yeah, yeah” refrain. Snore. Pick your example. On one level it’s a sign of the times. Mick Jagger’s 20 years older than our Prime Minister. Rock has Heritage Acts now: bands as brands. Reformations are the norm. Rock music is just… there.

I blame the Beeb’s “Perfect Day” too. This was pretty much an underground “classic” before they used it and I was almost happy for Lou Reed. Artistic recognition and a big, fat, payday. Only Aunty could have pulled it off. The fact the original song was about heroin seems to have been lost in the Mists of Marketing. Rock’s back pages now provide fresh meat for the machine.

Bowie said in 2000 that the Web means we can now turn music on like water from a tap. Your entire personal record collection can sit in an iPod with gigabytes to spare. Record companies now have departments that try and place music in hit shows. That’s why you get some modern, bed-wetting, Indie tune for the emotional end to a show like “Holby City”.

If you make promos for a company that has a blanket agreement then, why not? It’s hard when all you can use is Audionetworks, (no offence). I worked at Five for years and a friend in Scotland could always tell one of my promos. In my time I managed to slip in choice cuts from my personal collection. Stooges, MC5, The Sonics, Television, The Cramps, all sorts. Highlight? “Liar” by the Sex Pistols for a documentary about Jeffrey Archer. Happy days.

OK, that maybe makes me a hypocrite but my biggest objection is the “fit”. If the song lifts the work above the every day and really helps tell-the-tale then, fine. Too much stuff is just so-so though. Lazy. Before you rape another classic, stop and think. There are still some people who will be more turned off by your “clever” use of their fave track than captivated by it.