The New Boring. Or, Rock Is Dead Pt. 411

A recent Billboard magazine has “Rock Is Dead” as it’s front cover headline. There’s a part of me – the part who saw The Clash LIVE – who agrees with this. But maybe Rock’s just changed, like everything else in our post-postmodern world. It’s rock, Jim, but not as we know it.
Some speak of The New Boring. Music sales are down and record companies don’t like risk. They want safe, reliable and, well, boring. They love Adeles and Coldplays: nice tunes for uncertain times. Coldplay apparently accounted for about 50% of EMI’s sales last year. That’s a big cash cow and EMI don’t want to frighten the horses. Mylo Xyloto: only the title was weird or different or challenging, not the content. Adele’s shifted plenty units too but, without wishing to appear rude, it’s hardly reinvented the wheel. Even oh-so-edgy Amy Winehouse didn’t exactly push the envelope
The mainstream has always been a bit boring. Englebert Humperdinck had the biggest hit of 1967, not the Beatles, Stones, Hendrix, Who etc. You know, the good stuff. The silent majority has always liked it’s fluff. Here’s the Hump…

The modern equivalent might be your average X-Factor dross. The triumph of marketing over content. The question today is the same as it’s always been then. If record companies want to play it safe then what competes with The Boring? What makes a difference and adds to the equation today? All the forms are known. The template for “classic” Rock was set over 40 years ago: bass, guitar, drum. All we’ve done over the years is add more bells and whistles. An empty box of tricks.
It’s hard to compete with a past that includes Elvis, Beatles, Rolling Stones – who weren’t destroyed in 1977 as prophecised…

Rock gets scared every now and then by a Strokes, White Stripes or Libertines. What those bands have in common is that they developed under the radar and built up a community, either by playing live or using the MySpaces of this world. This is the stuff of Rock Dreams, like a Beatles at The Cavern or Stones at the Crawdaddy Club. It’s hard to grow outside the Meejah bubble now. We’re so uber-connected, plugged-in and webbed-up that most things seem to get co-opted, chewed up and spat out, faster and faster…

Bands don’t get a chance to develop and grow. I think that’s why all those Stone Roses reunion gigs sold out in record time. They were part of a scene. A secret, special moment, when Rave culture was still underground with a new drug, look, music. That doesn’t happen anymore.

Rock, film, TV and all the other Arts are still finding their way in the Twenty First Century. Technology will lead us down more and more untrodden paths. For example, David Hockney’s new show has canvases created using the “Brush” app on his iPad. Music has an immediacy that makes it connect differently with an audience, which is why live music is still popular. And people will always want to the chase the new, to be entertained by novelty. Florence & The Machine? It’s basically Kate Bush with modern production techniques. The wish to connect is still there though. People want the communal experience.
So, who’s gonna save us from The New Boring? That’s the fun bit. Hearing a tune that makes you stop and go “Yeah!”. Or just tap your toe. Or at least raise a quizzical ear. Scanning the racks and leafing the press, here’s some that seem to be getting ver Kidz excited this year. Me? Sadly, I saw The Clash and that’s my yardstick. The bar was set high…

Promax 2010. It’s That Time Again.

I’ve been to about 10 Promaxes (Promaxi?) and missed Bonfire Night for a decade. Now November brings Promax and fireworks. We’ve evolved. I remember my first Promax in 1996BC or so. That year’s theme was Branding, a new and excitingly different concept back then. I spent the whole conference meeting BBC employees who snorted derisively, “Branding? We’re the BBC. Everyone knows who we are”. Look at ‘em now…

Those first conferences were held at the Lancaster Gate Hotel and had delegates from all over Europe. Since then it’s become more UK centric as our Euro-pals do their own thing. A shame in some ways as it was often inspiring and humbling when you saw stuff from, say, ProSeiben in Germany. There is a world beyond our shores.

At that first conference I won a music quiz hosted by Tommy Vance. It got down to a tie-breaker, decided by Tommy. I won a portable CD player, an expensive bit of kit then. Famous faces have always been one of the joys of Promax and a measure of its worth in that they can get celebs to turn up. Over the years I’ve seen everyone from Will Self, Alistair Campbell, Dave Stewart, Michael Nyman, Max Clifford, Martin Parr, Chris Smith (Minister of Culture, the week he was outed) and Malcolm Maclaren. Sadly there are no women in that quick list. Is that just me or was that the way it was? Answers on a postcard.

Maclaren was great. He rolled up hungover and spoke without notes. He spoke about things being Authentic or Karaoke. Tony Blair, recently elected, was a Karaoke Prime Minister. Be truthful, original, creative. Creativity is the subtext of all Promax events of course. Sir John Hegarty (of Bartle Bogle Etc fame) spoke one year, full of piss and vinegar. He’d just done an advert where to get a certain “look” they spat and trampled on the film rushes and got an effect that no amount of filters or plug-ins could ever achieve. And it was basically free: creativity doesn’t cost.

Before finding the Mermaid Theatre as a venue Promax moved to the Queen Elizabeth Conference Centre. I travelled there one Saturday on the number 24 bus. Going past South Africa House I saw Nelson Mandela stepping out of a cab. Arriving at the venue, the Queen pulled up to go into the Methodist Hall next door. Radiant in yellow (her, not me), I was less than 10 feet from her. If I’d had a gun…

Speaking of guns, still one of my most memorable moments was a session done by Jim Stokoe called “Psychocandy”. He started his talk by, without warning, firing a starting pistol. A few years later he did the same session and asked if anybody had seen him before do that session and if so what did they remember? “You fired a gun”. Always start your promo with an explosion. It’s true.

Promax is a great chance to see work and technology that you’ve never seen before. I saw a session once about motion tracking where the guy rewrote an advert on the side of a travelling bus. Space age talk about “string” and “vectors”. For younger readers, the Quantel Henry was once the most expensive piece of Graphics kit in the world and could hold TWO MINUTES OF FOOTAGE! Your average iPod now has 100 times more capacity.
As channels have proliferated there’s work from all over the place. It’s always satisfying to see a ‘small’ channel like Bravo win Gold. The love of the under dog. Other times it’s stuff that has already become part of the national consciousness, like the Beeb’s “Perfect Day”. Some years Sky wins big. Channel 5 had a good year once. Channel 4 always does well. ITV seems to suffer routinely.

Occasionally, if you’re lucky, you might get sent abroad. I managed a Promax in Toronto, Berlin and LA. Too much to say about those except that watching the World Cup in LA after a late night hot-tub was fun. As was shaking hands with The Who’s John Entwhistle. He died the next day. Not my fault, I swear.

But hey, it’s not all work. Free booze is on offer and the chance to see your workmates suited and booted, especially the women folk. Nothing like a black dress and a special event to make everyone feel sexy. One year I met a German woman and gave her a late night tour of London, taking in Tower Bridge and Primrose Hill. We emailed after and that was it. Until I ran into her at Promax Berlin a few years later and she was really angry with me. Why didn’t you write etc? Weird. Especially as we were in a former Stasi building eating from a free oyster bar. (Note to self: possible band name, “Stasi Oysters”). That’s my only tip to youngsters: try to control your hormones. Otherwise you could face Day After Xmas Office Party Shame. But then again, you’re only young once…

Promo to the Max. Have a good ‘un. See you there.